"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
There are certain characters that show up again and again in the movies and on TV. The mean-but-popular cheerleader. The nerdy-sweet sidekick. Some of them are totally fake and just for entertainment (In fact, most cheerleaders are actually quite… cheerful).
But then sometimes…. Well, art imitates life. You know that girl who’s so obviously with the wrong guy, but she keeps going back to him again and again? The classic off-and-on relationship – like Ross and Rachel, except with a bad boy. Well to be honest, I always thought that girl was kind of dumb. Or crazy. I mean really, do you think anything is going to happen differently this time? No. How many times do you have to hit your head against the wall… to see it always going to hurt you?
But there’s nothing like life lessons to teach you not to judge. Because I have been That Girl.
I don’t need to get into the details of it. Boy likes girl. Girl gives him a chance. Boy decides he’s done, and girl gets her heart broken. Then the cycle repeats.
I don’t know. I just liked him so much, you know? It seemed worth the risk. But really I didn’t think about the risk at all. Love (or even just the possibility of it) makes you remember hope and forget logic. With the right person it’s lovely, but with the wrong one, it can be toxic.
But what I want you to know is, if a relationship is not working out like you imagined, and you’re just getting hurt, don’t settle. I know, I know… it’s not that easy. Boy, do I ever know. Because it doesn’t feel like settling. And at first, when you’re letting go of that back-and-forth fella, it’s going to hurt you. Way more than it hurts him. But you have to let all of it go – the memories, the feelings, and that piece of you that’s always with him. You’ll never be able to find the right person, and let them in, if you’re saving a seat for the wrong person. Eventually, you have to kiss Mr. Wrong goodbye and let the credits roll. I finally decided to do that.
Of course, if this was a movie, Mr. Right would have shown up 5 minutes and a sad song after I made the right decision. And we would kiss on my doorstep, preferably in the pouring rain. But in real life, happy endings aren’t so immediate. I still believe I made the right decision though.
Because I’ve been That Girl. And I’m so done. That chapter is closed, the scene is cut. Moving on. I think I’ll go back to being the hopeless romantic, Cinderella-waiting-for-Prince-Charming I’ve always been.
I believe there’s someone wonderful out there for me and for you.
And besides, I just can’t resist a good glass slipper.
This weekend I was walking through the kitchen and caught the end of a story on CBS Sunday Morning. I instantly knew I wanted to share it with you. The feature was about Angela Zhang, a 17-year-old from California who wrote a research report describing her original recipe. And what does it make? A potential cure for cancer! It will take years to know if it works for humans, but the pros say it's promising... so much so that Angela won the Siemens Competition in Math, Science & Technology.
And what's one thing she used her $100,000 prize for? Shoes... including an absolutely adorbs pair of Steve Madden embellished purple flats. A girl after my own heart. Check out the full story here:
Amazing, right? It's so inspiring to see FGs following their passion and making a difference in the world. Way to go, Angela!
xoxo
The Fab Gal
PS - Do you know a Fab Gal with an impressive story? Leave a comment to let me know - her story could be featured here!
Whether you're a single lady or happily Facebook-official with someone, it's good to know in your mind what real, true love looks - or sounds! - like to you. I think I found something that does that for me. One of my BFLs (that's Bestie for Life) shared a video with me by the poet Rudy Francisco. He has a few super-sweet poems, but this one, called "The First Time You Said Hello," absolutely melts my heart.
As V-Day approaches, remember to look for (and create!) the kind of relationship you deserve. What I wish for you is that you find someone who adores you for you and wants to be part of your life through the good and the bad... because I know you would do that much and more for them.
xoxo
The Fab Gal
What's something that epitomizes your idea of love? A song, a movie, a picture, a real couple you know? Share in the comments below!
2012 is still brand new, so it’s that time when everyone is hopeful – making resolutions and looking forward to the possibilities of the New Year. It’s also that time for me (and maybe you!) when graduation is just a few months away. Sure, graduation is an ending, and reflecting about all that’s changed since you stepped through those school doors for the first time. But even more, graduation is about making big decisions for the future. What do you want to do with your life? Where will you go to college? Or maybe, who do you wanna be when you step into the halls of middle school? The questions and uncertainty are enough to make the future seem a little frightening.
When the future seems frightening, it’s easy to just push it away, focus on the now, ignore the what-ifs, and play it safe. That's what I've been doing, anyway. But of course, that’s not really dealing. No matter what you do (or don’t do) the future is always coming, one minute at a time. Thankfully for me, I have someone who always puts things in perspective. My dad reminded me that what matters most is thinking not just about the right now, but where you want to be in the future – whether that’s 1 year, 4 years, or 10 years. Because c’mon, you have big dreams, right? But the only way to get there is by pulling them out of the clouds and starting to work towards them right now, not some day in the future once this or that happens. I don’t want you or me to sell ourselves and our Fab-ness short by squishing down life into what fits in the present.
So I’m starting to make goals for the new year… including a few I hope to share with you. But what are your hopes, FG? How are you moving forward in 2012? Share in the comments below… and know I’m cheering you on every step of the way.
So of course not every Fab Gal gets to (or wants to) spend her time in the spotlight. However, I think it's really cool when girls use the opportunities they've been given, like fame, to help others. So this top 5 is honoring 5 well-known Fab Gals who shined in in 2011.
1. Demi Lovato - After leaving treatment at the beginning of the year, Demi has bounced back in a big way. In addition to releasing a new album, which includes the stay-strong anthem "Skyscraper," she's become a contributing editor for Seventeen, sharing about her struggles with the pressure to be perfect and encouraging other girls to be confident. Demi has proved that you can grow out of struggles and mistakes to be strong and help others. Check out her work for Seventeenhere.
2. Kendall Jenner - The Kardashians have certainly garnered their share of fame as fortune, as well as plenty of criticism. However, this younger member of the K crew doesn't take her blessings for granted. For her Sweet 16 party, she asked guests bring toys to donate to the local children's hospital instead of presents for herself. She found a way to have the best of both worlds - a rooftop party with family and friends, and gifts to give to others. Read more about her party here.
3. Kate Middleton - This now-duchess is of course best known in 2011 for her fairytale wedding to Prince William. But in an era where princesses have gotten a bad rep, she's used her position for good. In just the last few months, she has supported UNICEF, been named an ambassador for the Olympics, and made other charity visits. Talk about princess power!
4. Taylor Swift - Okay, I am just the biggest T-Swfit fangirl ever. But in an age where some do find fame for being catty on a reality TV show, Taylor really is a true sweetheart. What's more, she's willing to "Speak Now" and share her story in songs that are relatable. She's like a supportive best friend over the stereo! Check out her latest video, for "Ours," here.
5. Sarah Cronk - Okay, you may not recognize her name, but this is a girl worth knowing about. In 2008, she started a cheerleading squad at her school that included girls with disabilities. That grew into the Sparkle Effect, a program that helps girls at schools across the country create similar squads. This year, she won the top prize at the 2011 VH1 Do Something Awards. That means she won $100,000 for her organization. . . in addition to getting to wear a sparkly dress on TV and makeeye contact with Justin Bieber. Talk about a Fab Gal! Learn more about the Sparkle Effect here.
So FGs, that's my top 5 for 2011. Who would be on your list? Who are the FGs in your life? Share in the comments below!
So Fab Gals, it's getting to be that time of year - back-to-school. Personally, I love this time of year. Not that I'm exactly excited about homework and test again (in fact, I'm really not). But it always seems like the first day brings with it tons of possibilities - for new adventures, new challenges, new crushes... or even just new school supplies! But before we leave behind the lazy (or crazy!) days of summer, I want to share with you one of the out-of-school lessons I learned.
I am definitely, positively not perfect. But you know what? I do alright.
There's been a lot out there lately about self-acceptance, with Demi Lovato and other celebs (and real girls!) speaking out against the "pressure to be perfect." I feel like I started to accept that lesson a long time ago. I mean, that's one of the tenants of being a Fab Gal, right? Know that your imperfections are just a part of the beautiful, complex girl that you are. But sometimes, I struggle with accepting my own brand of imperfect. Like, okay, I can deal with being a bruises-like-a-peach klutz. I mean, it makes for funny stories, right? But if I deal with that, can't I just have 24/7 perfect skin? And being a bit shy - no big deal. I can work through that. But the down moods and grouchy moments? I could live without (and believe me, others could too!).
But let me tell you about the moment that I decided just-like-this was more-than-enough. It was the end of a day at the amusement park with my friends. Everyone was snapping pics like crazy. Problem was, I didn't feel so camera ready. I had a sweaty, make-up free face, and humidity-frizzy water park hair... not to mention a mental image of myself as bloated like a balloon from the standard fried theme park food. I was already dreading seeing those photos on Facebook. But then I realized, you know what? It's so worth it. I spent a day running around with new and old friends. I'll never forget the feeling of riding front seat down the roller coaster or being stopped right at the top of the Ferris wheel when the fireworks started (truly magical). So snap away. Today was perfect.
As you head into the school year, if you find yourself getting down on yourself, stop and make sure you're looking at things from the right direction. Even if you feel imperfect, maybe things (and you!) are perfect in their own way, when you look at the whole picture. Sometimes you need to put yourself out there, flaws and all, to live the full life you really deserve.
So this is me, imperfect and unedited. Remember FGs, I'm always here when you need me. And whatever challenges you face this year, I'm behind you all the way. Let's show the world what our little imperfect selves are capable of!
Reality stars aren't exactly known for having healthy relationships. I'm thinking of the bizarre showdown that is "The Bachelor" and pretty much any reality show involving a celebrity or housewife. But The Lo-Down, a dating guide by Lo Bosworth, proves that some stars are firmly grounded in... well, reality. The lovely chica of "Laguna Beach" and "The Hills" fame has put together a relationship how-to manual that is well-worth the read.
The Lo-Down is centered on The Golden Rule, which basically comes down to "if it doesn't work out with a guy, he is not the right guy for YOU, so ditch the misconception that you must not be right for HIM." It's a similar message to the one from the ever-popular He's Just Not That Into You (read: If he's not treating you right, don't waste your time), but softer. In fact, this book is a nice contrast, because it takes the power from the guy and gives it to you. That's what's also so fab about this book - Lo encourages you to believe in your worth and gives specific tips for building your confidence, like setting goals, volunteering, and making a Love List. While personally-focused, it's sensibly in keeping with the goal of the book, because Lo knows that when you believe in yourself, you'll be able to find and build a relationship where you're happy and treated right.
Another bonus: this book is equal parts solid advice and simple fun. It includes features such as insightful quizzes (think the ones from Quizfest or Cosmo, but more meaningful) and personal stories about herself and friends to back up her points. I also absolutely adored the list of the types of guys that fall into the categories of "Baddies" and "Goodies." Sure, it's generally best to avoid putting labels on anyone, boys included. But when you're dealing with the blurry vision that comes with crushes and broken hearts, Lo's categories help you see the hard facts of the situation. It's sooo much easier to step back, look around, and say "Oh, we've got a Can't-Commit Charlie on our hands" than it is to argue with the strong emotions you may have (and the sensitivity that comes with them).
Okay, before I conclude this gush-fest over the lovely Lo-Down, let me just point out that Lo gives helpful advice for every step of the relationship road, from the initial signs that a guy is into you, to moving on from the wrong one, and everything in-between, such as fun date ideas and recipes to make with or for your beau. The Lo-Down is an especially great read for girls between relationships ready for a new approach, but it could still be an enjoyable read if you're happily in one. Consider Lo your down-to-earth girlfriend with the advice you need to hear and a sweet shoulder to lean on.
xoxo
P.S.The Lo-Down website is currently in makeover mode, but you can pick up a copy of the book here.
